


I can't take it anymore.

by PerfectlyxBad



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gallavich, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyxBad/pseuds/PerfectlyxBad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After learning, by Mandy, that Mickey was getting married, Ian went to confront him. They got into an argument and Mickey punched him. Mickey told Ian that they were done and this time for real. Ian was heartbroken and couldn't stay in South Side anymore. My own perception of what would happen after seeing the promo of this Sunday episode.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

After being punched several time by Mickey, Ian was now sure that they were done and nothing will change.Mickey was straight now, he was also a soon to be dad and husband. Once he was home Ian didn’t speak to anyone and went straight to his room. He was feeling sick and completely broken. Mickey was his first big love, he didn’t want to let him go, but he knew it was the only thing to do. The pain in his chest was killing him, he could feel his heart break at every second that past. He fell asleep and didn’t got out of his room, not even when Fiona called him from downstairs to eat.

The next morning Ian was up early. He had things he wanted to do. After coming back home from his thing he wanted to do he got a call from Mandy.

\- You coming to Mickey’s wedding with me ? She asked him.

\- Nah.. I have to leave soon.

\- Leave ? Where ?

\- I’m, he bite his own lip, I’m leaving for the army. I’m 18 now, I went to register today. I’m leaving in 3 days..

Mandy didn’t say a word, but Ian knew everything she was thinking. He felt bad for leaving her behind, but he had to go. He couldn’t stay in Chicago when the guy he loved was getting married to a girl and didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Mandy hung up without saying another word. Ian understood her, he knew he was hurting her really bad. He just couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t stay here and survive with the fact that Mickey had left him again, this time for good.


	2. Chapter 2

Mickey was eating at the kitchen table when he heard his sister calling Ian from their living room. She asked him to come with her to Mickey’s wedding. His heart skipped a beat just to the idea of Ian seating in the room, watching him getting married to a girl. He could clearly see the expression on Ian’s face, hurt, anger and betrayal. He heard his sister asking Ian where he was leaving and all clicked in his head, his thought got confirmed when he heard his sister hung up and broke down in tears. He got up from his chair and went to watch her from the door frame between both rooms.

\- He’s leaving isn’t he ? Mickey asked her, even though he knew the answer.

\- Yeah, he joined the army this morning. He’s leaving the day before your wedding. 

She said that in a whisper, but he heard her. He went to his bedroom and shut calmly his door. He sat on his bed and closed his eyes. He was angry but sad and scared at the same time. He knew that in 3 days he was loosing Gallagher for real, and he didn’t know if he would ever get him back. He took his head between his hands and shook it. He needed to fucking grow a pair and talk to Ian. He got up quickly and ran outside his house. He didn’t stop running until he was at the Gallagher’s door. He knocked madly on the door until Lip open the door.

\- I need to see Ian, now. He said, not caring about the fact that he was rude as usual.

\- He doesn’t want to see you Mickey. Lip said.

\- I don’t give a shit I need to see him. Now!!

He heard someone’s footsteps and Ian’s face was behind Lip’s.

\- It’s ok Lip, you can go I’ll take care of him.

Lip went back in the house and Ian got out, shutting the door behind him. He looked at Mickey and didn’t said a word.

\- You’re leaving?

\- Yes I am.

\- But you can’t.. you. Ian cut Mickey off.

\- No, stop it Mickey. Stop fucking messing with my head. I know everything was always kind of shitty between us. But I always did what you asked me to do. I never talked about us to anyone, I never kissed you, I never said you were my boyfriend, I never talked to you about emotional shit. I ALWAYS did what you asked me. I’ve been fucking good to you Mickey. And you just keep leaving me. Even after what happened with your father, I was there for you I didn’t leave you. But then again, I was just so fucking stupid because it was just another opportunity for you to hurt me. But that’s over Mickey, we are over. You are straight now, you are getting married and you are going to be a dad, and I will go in the army and never come back to that shitty city again. You don’t get to destroy me again, not anymore. I can’t take it.

Ian spoke clearly but fast. He had tears running on his cheek, and it just showed how badly he was hurt. Ian was more sensitive than any other person knew, but never did he cried in front of Mickey. He didn’t know what to say to him, because Ian was right.

\- You made me think you loved me.. But you never did. I should of remembered, just a warm mouth.

And that was it, Ian was shutting the door again, but this time he was behind the door in the house. Mickey didn’t had the time to react. Ian was gone and Mickey didn’t do anything to win him back.


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey was back at his home. Sitting on his bed he was thinking about everything that Ian said to him earlier. Everything that Ian had said was true, he did pull up with all those shit Mickey asked him to. Never or rarely complained. Mickey loved him, he knew it. Ian knew it too. But because of his sick father he had to marry that girl. He didn’t even know her name. He was mad, mad at himself, mad at his dad and especially mad at life. Ian was good to him. He was calming him down and making Mickey want to settled down. Mickey knew he was a fucked up, he just knew that he was never going to make something good out of his life, but for some gay reasons when he looked into Ian’s eyes he felt like he was something more than that. But today, today when Mickey looked into Ian’s eyes he didn’t saw anything liked it. He knew Ian had lose any kind of hope in him. His heart was broken too. After an hour of sitting into his bed an idea flash into his mind. He looked for his cellphone and called the only person who knew who could help him with it, it just hopped for it to be working. After several ringing the person finally picked up.

\- What the fuck do you want Milkovich ?

\- I need your help for something Lip.

_______________________________________________

It was the big day. Ian was leaving today, and it makes him sad but happy at the same time. His flight was at 3 PM but he was already up and it was only 7 AM. He just couldn’t sleep. When he got downstairs to eat something, he realize he wasn’t the only one who had trouble sleeping. His whole family, including Liam, was up and at the kitchen table. Strangely they didn’t looked sad, which hurts Ian feeling a little bit.

\- Go get dress. That was Fiona who talked.

\- We have a lot of things planed for you today.

He looked at Lip, who just talked. He didn’t feel like arguing so he got back to his room and got dressed and everybody was out doing activities. They took Ian to all of his favorite places. It made him happy to get to enjoy activities with his family. Because he didn’t know for how long he was leaving and sure as hell didn’t know if he was coming back alive. He knew he would miss a lot of things in his siblings life and the fact that his most recent memories with them would be while they were laughing and smiling was the best thing Ian could of imagine. It was nearly 1:30 PM now and he needed to get to the airport. So everybody was in the car and he closed his eyes, trying to calm the stress and the pain in his chest. He was nervous now, he started to regret his choice. When the car stopped he open his eyes, he didn’t realize he actually felt asleep, but something was covering them and he wasn’t able to see. He started to panic but a comforting voice talked to him.

\- It’s ok Ian, trust me.

That was Lip. They got out of the car and walked inside somewhere. Ian didn’t have any idea or where he was and it was really confusing with the thing on his eyes that kept him from seeing. After 5 minutes of walking and getting in and out of elevator they were finally stopping. He heard Debbie giggle and it made him smile.After what seems to be an eternity Lip took off the blind sight and Ian wink a couple of time so his sight could adjust to the brightness of the room. He looked a little bit around and realize he was at the city hall. When he turned over he saw Mickey, a smile on his face. The biggest smile he ever saw. He was confused.

\- What the fuck ? He asked to no one in particular.

\- Welcome to your wedding. Lip whispered in his ear.

And then everything clicked. He was getting married, with Mickey.


	4. Chapter 4

Ian was standing in front of Mickey and looked more confused than ever. Not more than a week ago Mickey was beating the shit out of him for saying a simple thing as ” You love me. And you’re gay ” and now he wanted Ian to marry him? He took a few step backwards while shaking his head. He had the impression that everybody was messing with his head. Ian fell on his knees and looked lost. His expression blank and he was just staring at the wall. After everything they’ve been through, Ian was definitely not ready for THAT. Mickey took a few steps and went to his knees to look Ian in the eyes. That’s when Ian realize that Mickey was actually dressed up, cleaned up and he even wear some perfume.

\- Look.. Gallagher, Mickey began.

\- You want me to fucking marry you and you’re not even able to say my name, Ian sight.

\- Listen to me would ya? Fuck, Mickey closed his eyes for a couple of second before opening them again to look into Ian’s eyes. When I came by to your house, I wanted to say I was sorry. But you never let me the time. After everything you said to me you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to deal with my bullshit anymore. I know it’s a fucking big step but.. Before everything went down to shit you made it pretty it clear that you wouldn’t never let me go.. But this time, he looked down on the floor like he was scared, this time I’m the one who doesn’t want to let go.

When he finally looked up, he saw that look again. The look Ian always gave him, the look that a couple of days disappeared. It was back and Mickey just smiled.

\- I know I’m fucked up, I know I’m twisted in my mind. And it’s not because we’re going to be husband that I’m going to hold your hand in front of everyone. But I don’t want to lose you.

\- I don’t want to lose you either Mick.. 

It was more a whisper but Ian knew that his men heard him.

\- I called Lip two days ago and I came up with a plan. Both of us are going to get legally married, that way my dad would never be able to force me to anything unless we divorce. But.. After we get married we need to leave. We can’t stay in Chicago..

\- But.. I’m leaving.. for the army in less than an hour Mick..

\- No you’re not, Lip said, I called them right after Mickey talked to me. Fiona said that she was you’re legal guardian and that she never agreed for you to sign up. So they had to let you go. I’m sorry..

\- But.. He looked to Lip and then to Fiona to finally come back to Mickey. Where are we going? I can’t leave my family.. I can’t.

\- It’s OK Ian.. We prefer for you to be happy away than miserable here because you’re not with Mickey. Just do it, think about you for a change.

He looked at Fiona.

\- Ok…

\- Ok? Mickey asked a smiled on his face.

\- Yeah ok.. let’s do this.

Mickey got up and Ian did the same. Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and squeezed it a little.

\- Let’s get married, Mickey said with the biggest smile on his face.

Ian smiled too, they were happy but they were mostly in love. They felt invincible.


	5. Chapter 5

They were sitting in that room for about half-an-hour. They had to wait that other couples were done getting married. Even though there weren't any ceremony, people liked to take their time to sign the paper. Who could blame them? Ian was nervous. His mind was racing over everything that happened for the past few weeks. He got beat up by his dad's soon-to-be husband, he got ignored by Mickey, he got beat up by Mickey and he also got rejected by him. Even though Mickey being here was a proof that he loved him, Ian couldn't just stop thinking about it. He knew just too well that his man was hurt, he can't imagine everything that could be going through his mind just about right now, but Ian, Ian couldn't stop wondering how long Mickey was going to be that loving? How long would that smile stay on his face? A day, two? Maybe a week. What would happen when they were going to be together,alone? He knew that he teased Mickey back a couple of days ago when Mickey beat him up, but it just proved to him that despite his love for Ian, he could turn on him at any moment just so he could feel like he wasn't a fag. Ian was scared, he would never tell anyone about it, but he was so damn scared. He looked around and he saw Mickey talking with Lip. They were smiling but Ian just couldn't. Mickey had been through so much shit because of him. He felt bad for being scared of him, but Ian lost the trust he had for Mickey. For a couple of minutes he was looking at the door, and then guilt hit him right up his face. For those past minutes he was actually thinking about running away, leaving Mickey behind. While he was lost in his thoughts, someone got closer and put a hand on his shoulder.

\- You OK ?

He jumped to the contact and turned around to see Mickey standing there, a look of confusion on his face.

\- Yeah.. I'm fine, I was just thinking..

He tried to smile, but he knew he failed; miserably. Mickey took the chair next to him and looked to the wall in front of him.

\- Looked.. about the other time you know when I hit you, I'm sor-

\- I.. I don't want to talk or think about it okay? It's something I'm trying to forget.

\- But we need to talk about it Gallagher..

\- I don't want to okay?

He screamed without noticing and got on his feet.

\- I don't want to fucking remember that you hit me because you wanted to feel better about yourself or because you fucking wanted to push me away. I don't want to fucking think about the fact that you left me there on the fucking ground bleeding. I don't want to fucking think about the fact that every time you hurt me I always come back like a little dog. You got what you wanted OK  I'm getting married with you. So for the first time since we started fucking, just do what I want.

The room was silent. You could only hear the breathing of everyone there. Ian was shaking; with rage, with sadness? He didn't know. Everything he contained inside of him for as long as they've been seeing each other had blown out, and he regretted it the second it left his mouth. Everybody was looking at them, but they were only looking at each other's eyes. Mickey got up and everybody held their breathe, knowing for sure that Mickey was going to hit Ian. After a moment, Mickey reached out to Ian and took his left hand in his. Ian looked like he was about to cry, and maybe he wanted to. But he didn't.

\- I'm sorry Ian..

It was only a whisper so only the both of them could hear.

\- I know I've hurt you, before and now. I'm sorry I have a fucked up family that created a fucked up kid. But I regret hitting you, you don't have any idea. I tried, I tried to push you away so that way my dad wouldn't get to you. But I can't Ian, I can't stay the fuck away from you, even though I tried. I'm so glad you were always there when I was coming back to you, because I would of die if not. I love you fucking Gallagher, and I would never hurt you again OK?

Ian looked at his eyes, and he knew Mickey was telling him the truth. He knew that Mickey must feel really gay right now. That's why he had it coming.

\- So stop fucking bitching about emotion.

That was louder, so everybody could hear him, becoming the macho he was. Ian just smiled to him and squeezed his hand. He whispered a little " I love you too " before letting Mickey's hand go and both of them sat down on their chairs again. The conversation started to fill the room again and Ian smiled. All the worries were gone now, his heart felt lighter and he knew that Mickey's was just the same. They smiled lovingly at each other for a good two minutes and someone opened the door to the waiting room.

\- Mister Milkovich ?

Mickey got up.

\- That's me.

\- It's your turn now.

Mickey looked down on Ian, still siting on his chair and smiled.

\- You ready ?

Ian smiled and got up, taking Mickey's hand in his.

\- Fuck yeah.

Everybody laugh to that, oh so classy, remark and they walked to the wedding room.


	6. Chapter 6

A few moments after entering the wedding room, Mickey let go of Ian's hand, starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable knowing that Ian's entire family was there plus his own sister. Strangely, everybody seem to take the news of him and Ian getting married pretty well. He felt that Ian was a bit nervous, after all what's not to be? They were barely 18 and they were getting married. Even though all his life Mickey never really believed in love ( thanks to his mother and his father ) he knew that one day he will get married and on the opposite of his parents, he will get married with someone he loved and create a strong relationship. He made himself promise that when he was around 11 and his mom just left them. Who would of known that he would get married with a guy? The minister started to explain them how he would proceed.

\- So, Mister Milkovich and..?

\- Gallagher, Ian said.

\- Mister Milkovich and Mister Gallagher. The way I'm doing it, there is no big ceremony, no priest coming to talk. You hold hands while I read something to the both of you, you say I do when I ask you if you want to marry each other, you can exchange vows if you want to, but you're not obligated. You can also exchange rings, if there is any and after that you sign the document that makes you husbands and you can kiss each other  That legal document makes your marriage valid in every state that accept same-sex weddings. So, if you are both ready; shall we start?

\- Yeah, sure.

Mickey turned to Ian after giving the OK to the minister and he took both of Ian's hands into his.

\- Today, we are reunited to join in this happy celebration, the love of Mickey Milkovich and Ian Gallagher. Being married isn't easy, but it's just like every other relationship. There is ups and downs, but the most important thing is for you both to stand by each other to get though all of your problems. You are stronger together than apart. Getting married isn't something you take lightly, it is suppose to last forever, just like the love you feel for each other.

Ian was smiling to the words of the minister. It was exactly everything he felt for Mickey. All this love they could both feel at this very moment was a lot to handle, and Ian wasn't able to look at Mickey because he didn't want to make him uncomfortable. It was the most intimate moment that they had in their entire relationship, and it was emotionally intense for the both of them.

\- Mickey Milkovich, do you accept to take Ian Gallagher for husband, for the rest of your life. In any circumstances, poor, rich, sickness, death, pain, happiness?

Mickey looked Ian right into his eyes and felt his heart skipped a beat. It was now or never, it didn't have a chance to screw it up.

\- I.. I do.

\- Ian Gallagher, do you accept to take Mickey Milkovich for husband, for the rest of your life. In any circumstances,poor,rich,sickness,death, pain and happiness?

\- I do.

They were both looking at each other, and they felt like the rest of the world didn't exist and it was only just them. It was them against the world, and that for the rest of their life. They were young, they knew that. But the love they felt for each other was strong, and pure. It was just as real as a broken arm. They knew it was going to hurt, it was going to be difficult, but for the past month they knew that the worst thing was to be apart from each other. They already went through so much, and the fact that they were standing right there just proved them that they were strong and nothing could stop them; as long as they got each other. the minister was the one who brake their eyes contact by giving them a pen, and pointing them where to sign on the document to get their marriage certificate. After the both of them finished writing their name, Mickey made a sign to Lip to come closer and Lip gave him a little box. It wasn't big and Ian just looked at it.

\- What is it ? He finally asked to Mickey.

Mickey opened the little boxed to show Ian two little ring made out of silver. They were delicate but manly at the same time. Ian's smile just got bigger.

\- I.. I know it's fucking gay but, since you're my husband. I want everybody to know that you are mine and nobody can touch you.

Ian just laugh at that remark and they put each other's ring on their respective finger.

\- By the power that the law gave me. I , now, declare you husband and husband.

Their whole family was cheering and they just stand there like two little idiots smiling like they never got hurt before. They smiled like the past month didn't exist, they smile just like the world were theirs now. And maybe it was. But at this really moment they didn't care, what mattered to them was that they were with each other, they loved each other and they didn't anything else.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be shy and tell me what do you think. English isn't my first language so yeah, sometimes some phrases won't make sense and I apologize. Hope you liked it.


End file.
